I am you, a fellow parent.... of a teen daughter.
I've done this parenting thing on a personal and professional level for a long time now, over TWO DECADES! I've been there and seen it all... the drama, the hormones, the girlfriends who stared holes through me, the rolling eyes, the blank stares, the wind changing directions and suddenly everything is fine or the end of the world 😊and let me tell you...You are NOT alone!
This ish is NOT easy! Your teen is not out to get you...I promise
I have two Master's degrees
I have three kids (one of which is now 21)
I own an adoption agency
I had a "bad" childhood
You would NEVER guess this NOW....but the truth is that there was a period of time that I "didn't like my daughter", it pains me to admit this but it is important to share.
This parenting job is hard af and you are NOT alone!I remember vividly confiding in a dear friend of mine that I didn't like my daughter. I would spell out all the ways I didn't like her, the things she would do and as I would tell my friend the stories and utter the heart shattering words "I don't like her".
I would also say deep down I know it's not her, it's me. I just don't know why, why the normal kid stuff she does is impacting me so much and causing these feelings.
One thing was for sure, I knew it was NOT HER BUT ME!
One day while in the hustle and bustle of mom life, I shuffled her into the car to get her to gymnastics and as she innocently and with her sweet carefree nature beebopped into gymnastics and started doing her thing, it hit me like a ton of bricks and there I stood. Sobbing while watching her in gymnastics. You see, all of a sudden the WHY hit me.
It was ABOUT ME and not her.
There as I sobbed I realized she had the childhood I never got to have but always desperately wanted. I came from a very traumatic childhood and didn't live that innocent carefree childhood at all. I called my friend from the gymnastics place as I stood there sobbing and told her how I figured it out! And a weight of a thousand pounds was lifted off my shoulders.
That is the day my relationship with my daughter changed in the most dreamy beautiful ways.